Dominic Murgido

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sudSSpirit

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sudSSpirit, founded by Dominic Murgido, is a bereavement support group originally created for those that have lost a spouse or significant other suddenly and unexpectedly. Over the years we have welcomed any spouse, partner, engaged, living together and not married who have lost the love of their life through disease or terminal illness. We feel that if they find our environment a friendly and caring pace to heal, we are also here to help them. The criteria is based on a spousal type relationship.
 
sudSSpirit is an acronym that stands for sudden unexpected death of a Spouse Survivors in participation to inform, renew, improve, and triumph. The support group meets in a casual environment with an open forum and is free to attend. No registration is necessary. Our group is a place where sensitivity, care, and compassion is there to guide you in a setting where you are understood and not judged while being encouraged to have faith and hope on your grief journey.
 
Our Mission:
 

sudSSpirit wants to provide you with a supplemental group experience in addition to professional therapy and / or counseling sessions that are currently happening in the lives of those interested.

sudSSpirit does not take the place of professional guidance and we encourage you to seek therapy as required.

sudSSpirit wants to provide a comfortable setting with a sense of community among those in attendance.  People should feel free to communicate and share feelings as it pertains to their journey through the grieving process.

sudSSpirit wants those in attendance to realize they are not alone with this problem and the group is available to provide infinite support.

Together We Can Help Each Other Heal

A letter to those that are grieving

 

 

No one knows how to react to the death of a loved one. No one knows what to say or how to say it.  That’s why the common “Sorry for your Loss” is everywhere. It’s no one’s fault, it is us, as a society, we have no grip on death’s reality and how to respond to it.

Everyone is angry about losing someone and angry against certain people, institutions, and themselves. It’s ok to be angry, just don’t stay there too long. Guilt is another emotion you’ll feel, mostly because you’re angry among other things and that leads to anxiety.

How people are so insensitive to you as it relates to you losing a loved one and the time you need to process is another terrible thing to witness and be a part of.  You must not let it bother you. (I know, easier said than done), but try not to let their lack of sensitivity be your guide.

There is a lot out there to read about this whole process of grieving.  Anything written by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross is tops in my opinion.  Ashley Davis Bush has many grief related books and books of inspiration and meditation. One book is called “Transcending Loss”. Online there is even more.  Search for “Grief ” or “Grieving the loss of a loved one” or “Losing someone you love” and it will bring up many things for you to read about and find more resources. Also, there are many websites and face book pages dealing with loss and support for you. They can provide a place to openly speak / write about what you feel in forums and chat rooms. Many people will reply to you about what they are going through. It’s good to know you are not alone during this time.

Support groups are not for everybody and maybe for you, not yet, but sometime it may be worth trying to go to one or at least see a therapist one on one to just talk. If it doesn’t work out or you don’t like it, don’t go back. Wait a little, it still may be too soon for you.  Nothing wrong with that. Try again later. I encourage people in my group to do this.  I have spent years going to both after my wife died and it really helped me. Resources for groups and bereavement counselors / therapists can be found on the United Way website or just call 211 or search 211.com for information.  Some churches have their own groups or subscribe to griefshare.org (new window).

There is a face book series that is entitled “Sorry for your Loss” with Elizabeth Olsen in the lead role.  It is well written with providing the various levels of grief that one goes through after the loss of a spouse. There is also a three season Netflix series entitled “After Life” with Ricky Gervais in the lead role. Ricky wrote and directed this series.  This is well done and covers many dynamics of the grieving process.

Many social service / hospice agencies / hospitals have grief support groups that are open to the public. Consult your family doctor for resources. They may have information to help guide you in a direction to seek additional support.

Some insight:

  • Patience. This is a long process and it cannot be hurried or buried in work or keeping yourself busy.
  • Gently wrap yourself in the warm memories of your loved one.  Allow the love that held you close continue to bring you strength and comfort.
  • Get through the next few days knowing that time does allow all of us to heal a little bit eventually.
  • Surround yourself with those that feel the same way you do. Don’t allow those that feel differently or have another agenda affect your grieving process. Death brings out the best and worst in people.
  • You carry your loved one with you in everything you see, say or do. Trust that they are with you as the loving voice in your head; it’s the one that expresses confidence in you when you are at your lowest.
  • Love and Grief are a package deal.  You can’t have one without the other.

My heart aches for what you have loved and lost.  Sending positive thoughts with peace and comfort.

Sincerely,

Dominic Murgido
Founder, sudSSpirit grief support group
Author, Miss Your Forever and In A Heartbeat

Newsletters

A seasonal newsletter is written and published by Dominic. He invites you to read and download the newsletters below. 

For additional newsletters prior to 2018, please contact Dominic at dmurgido@gmail.com or 717-866-2401

2022

Winter 2022

  • Quarterly Quote
  • Through the Years
  • An Entry From My Journal
  • On Not Giving Up
  • Book Review
  • Closure – A Misnomer
  • My friend just died. I don’t know what to do. 

Spring 2022

  • An Entry From My Journal
  • Quarterly Quote
  • It Will Only Happen One Time
  • Don’t Tell Me That You Understand
  • Mission Statement
  • How To Deal With Anger
  • When Grieving Slows
  • Five Links to Know
  • Book Review

Summer 2022

  • An Entry from my journal
  • Quarterly Quote
  • Opening a box of memories
  • Thoughts from Anne Frank
  • In A Heartbeat
  • For Sale: Madness, Memories and Maybes
  • The Highway of Life: Get Back on the Bus!
  • Grief
  • Post Loss Regret: The “Mistakes” we make after Loss
  • Website

Fall 2022

  • Welcome
  • Book Review
  • Quarterly Quote
  • Cars come and go then we reflect
  • Grief
  • Can You Grieve a Death Almost Thirty Years Later
  • Thoughts to Ponder
  • It’s Time to Buid Your Self-Care Routine
  • An Entry From My Journal

2021

Winter 2021

  • Quarterly Quote
  • Nothing Stays the Same
  • Five Links to Know
  • Yes, Write!
  • Make the Most of Every Moment
  • Entries From My Journal
  • When an Animal Companion Dies

Spring 2021

  • Quarterly Quote 
  • Out of Touch 
  • Miss Your FOREVER 
  • A Surprise that Still Surprises 
  • An Entry From My Journal 
  • The Dash 
  • Our Mission 
  • Memories From a Loved One Live On: Last Ravioli Left in a Pan on the Stove Reminded Me 

Summer 2021

  • Quarterly Quote
  • An Entry From My Journal
  • So Many Lives within a Lifetime
  • Miss Your FOREVER
  • What’s Your Grief
  • Grieving when you are an Introvert
  • Staying In Touch
  • A Sudden Truth: Living After the Death of your Spouse

Fall 2021

  • Quarterly Quote
  • An Unexpected Find
  • How to Acknowledge Their “Deathversary”
  • Grieving the Loss of Dreams
  • Using your Grief to Help Others – and Heal Yourself
  • Book Review
  • Soon I will be Gone Forever, but That’s Okay as Long as Someone Reads This
  • An Entry From My Journal
  • The Art of Losing

2020

Winter 2020

  •  A Pathway to Healing and Hope 
  • Quarterly Quote 
  • Another First Many Years Later 
  • I Remember When 
  • An Entry From My Journal 
  • Can Our Grieving Ever End? 
  • Book Review 
  • Grief Recovery Resolutions for a New Year 
  • How Long Does it Take to Start Healing? 
  • Thoughts to Ponder 

Spring 2020

  • Enduring Love
  • An Entry From My Journal
  • Quarterly Quote
  • Life Experiences
  • The Route To Felling Alive
  • Book Review
  • Heavy Grief – Again?
  • Explosive

Summer 2020

  • Rebirth
  • An Entry From My Journal
  • Quarterly Quote
  • The House Comes Alive Again
  • Book Review
  • Remembering, If We Can
  • Processing Grief during the COVID-19 Pandemic

Fall 2020

  • Age vs Time
  • An Entry From My Journal
  • Quarterly Quote
  • Even Now
  • Adapting to the loss of a loved one: Three Tips on how to cope
  • This Too Shall Pass
  • Grief Insights from Gloria Vanderbilt

2019

Winter 2019

  • Age vs. Time
  • Thoughts to Ponder
  • Quarterly Quote
  • One year ends; Another begins
  • An Entry from My Journal
  • Comfort Without Words
  • Life is Fragile
  • Bill of Rights for the Bereaved
  • Our Mission
  • Book Review

Spring 2019

  • Spring’s Messenger
  • Thoughts to Ponder
  • Quarterly Quote
  • Reminiscing
  • Book Review
  • Advice
  • Find Joy in Every Day
  • Understanding Grief
  • An Entry from My Journal

Summer 2019

  • Change of Plan
  • Thoughts to Ponder
  • Quarterly Quote
  • What’s Your Status
  • Book Review
  • What Do We Miss Most?
  • Mission Statement
  • When Grief Won’t Relent
  • An Entry from My Journal

Fall 2019

  • Memories of Summer
  • An Entry from My Journal
  • Quarterly Quote
  • Sunday Morning Walk
  • Book Review
  • What? Another Anniversary
  • Thoughts to Ponder
  • Missing My “Better Half”
  • Reflections
  • Five Things to Know
  • Mission Statement

2018

Winter 2018

  • Welcome
  • Questions
  • An Entry from My Journal
  • Quarterly Quote
  • The Best That You Can Do
  • Book Review
  • Guilt trips? Bad Journeys
  • Thoughts to Ponder
  • I Became a 26 Year Old Widow
  • What Does A New Year Mean?

Spring 2018

  • Welcome
  • Rebirth
  • An Entry from My Journal
  • Quarterly Quote
  • My Best Friend is now in a Better Place
  • Book Review
  • Greif: Coping with reminders after a loss
  • Our Mission
  • And Then There Was Spring
  • Staying on this Earth
  • Thoughts to Ponder
  • Things Have Changed Since Then
  • Spring – HOPE’s Own Season

Summer 2018

  • Welcome
  • sudSSpirit: A Pathway to Healing and Hope
  • Quarterly Quote
  • Letters to Heaven
  • Book Review
  • Who Needs This?
  • An Entry from My Journal
  • Thoughts to Ponder
  • How to Recognize Signs from your Loved Ones
  • Speaking of Love

Fall 2018

  • Welcome
  • Golden Hair and Eyes of Green
  • An Entry from My Journal
  • Quarterly Quote
  • Stop Asking Why
  • Thoughts to Ponder
  • Book Review
  • Widower’s Grief
  • Coming to terms with greif starts with accepting detours
  • Celebrate? Yes, Celebrate!

Resources

What’s Your Grief offers online and in-person continuing education training for grief support professionals |  whatsyourgrief.com (new window)

An organization dedicated to helping people who are grieving and those who care for them | centerforloss.com (new window)

Candid conversation and community on the long arc of loss and resilience. Beginners welcome | modernloss.com (new window)

Individual online grief support that tends to your body, mind, & spirit | mindfulnessandgrief.com (new window)

Grief.com is dedicated to help everyone deal with the often unknown terrain that comes along with all kinds of grief. Through education, information and other helpful resources we hope to make the challenging road of grief a little easier | grief.com (new window)

Open to Hope ® is a non-profit with the mission of helping people find hope after loss. We invite you to read, listen and share your stories of hope and compassion | opentohope.com (new window)

Speaking Grief explores the transformative experience of losing a family member in a death- and grief-avoidant society. This national public media initiative includes a one-hour television documentary, media-rich website, social media campaign, and numerous community engagement events, all aimed at starting a national conversation about grief | speakinggrief.org (new window)

Pathways Center for Grief & Loss | http://pathwaysthroughgrief.org (new window)

Circle of Life Coalition | http://circleoflifecoalition.org (new window)   

Suicide Loss | http://save.org (new window)

Grief Recovery after a Substance Passing |  http://grasp.org (new window)

United Way | http://211.com (new window)

Griefshare | http://griefshare.org (new window)

Suggested Reading

  • Bush, Ashley Davis. The Art & Power of Acceptance: Your Guide to Inner Peace. New York: Sterling Ethos, 2019.
  • Bush, Ashley Davis. Shortcuts to Inner Peace: 70 Simple Paths to Everyday Serenity. New York: Berkley Books, 2011.
  • Canfield, Jack; Hansen, Mark Victor; Newmark, Amy. Grieving and Recovery (Chicken Soup for the Soul) Cos Cob, CT. CSS Publishing LLC, 2011
  • Dettmann, Diane. Twenty-Eight Snow Angels: A Widow’s Story of Loss, Love, and Renewal. Denver, CO: Outskirts Press, 2011.
  • Hickman, Martha Whitmore. Healing After Loss: Daily Meditations for Working Through Grief. New York: Avon Books, 1994.
  • Kessler, David. Finding Meaning: The Sixth Stage of Grief. New York: Scribner, 2019.
  • Kubler-Ross, Elisabeth. On Death And Dying. New York: Macmillan, 1970.
  • Kushner, Harold S. When Bad Things Happen To Good People. Norwell, MA: Anchor, 2004.
  • Murgido, Dominic. Miss Your Forever: Reflections After The Death of a Spouse. Meadville, PA: Christian Faith Publishing, 2020.
  • Murgido, Dominic. In A Heartbeat. Meadville, PA: Christian Faith Publishing, 2022.
  • Prend, Ashley Davis. ( now Ashley Davis Bush ) Transcending Loss: Understanding the Lifelong Impact of Grief and How to Make it Meaningful. New York: Berkley Books, 1997.
  • Rando, Therese A. How to Go On Living When Someone You Love Dies. New York: Bantam, 1991
  • Stearns, Ann Kaiser. Coming Back: Rebuilding Lives After Crisis and Loss. New York: Ballantine Books,1988.
  • Tolle, Eckart. The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment. Novato, CA: New World Library, 1999.

In-Person Support

Dominic and sudSSpirit’s attendees welcome you to join the sudSSpirit Bereavement Support Group monthly at the following location.

Berks Chapter, Reading, PA 
4th Tuesday of the month at 6 PM 
Exeter Community Library
4569 Prestwick Drive | Reading, PA 19606
sudsspirit@gmail.com  
717-866-2401 

Bennington Chapter, Bennington, VT 

sudsspirit.vt@gmail.com 

dmurgido@gmail.com